chelletron’s blog

chelletron.blogspot.com

i dunno why
i should stick to vox huh.. hm

I'm selling some things on ebay. My room is being swallowed by clothes.shoes.purses!ohmy! save me!

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcupcakeconspiracyQQhtZ-1

i lovelovelove me some jScott. Here are my fave picks from his newest. SO CUTE & yes. I need the swimsuit and the white planets dress. en ee ee DEE:

It just dawned on me today that.. I really love brooklyn.

I remember when I first drove through , on broadway.. thinking  WHERE AM I?? what PLANET am I on?? It was soooo different. Which would scare anyone at first. But after living here for the past few months, I've fallen in love. Just the layout of the buildings, the graffiti, the grimy urban-ness of it. Is amazing.

That's all :) . Gotta finish my wonton sopa.

Yes, I am :)

I'll tell everyone about my sx experience later, and add some pics (most disappeared, tell you bouts that later :( )
until then I've decided to put my flickr account to use, posting a little something more than my super low quality cell phone pics. Hell, I live in the most amazing city in the country, I should take advantage of that with my camera, right ?

my flickkyflicky page

Yea yea, I have a problem, I get it. Hey! At least I don't buy ridiculously overpriced designer brands all the time. Give me that much. Please. I find jewels and treasures! Speaking of... i absolutely LOVE nyc dollar stores. Oh the gems you find in the ones on the LES. Examples:

My mom was really hard on me growing up. Nothing I did ever was right. I know I'm not the only one. At certain moments in my life I fall into that hole. Not feeling good enough, not worthy, of anything really. I hate to go back into my past and think about it, but it just always subconsciously comes up in my mind sometimes. It's really out of my control. I remember getting yelled at about a B- .. having a 3.8 GPA and my mom always telling me I could be better. Nothing was EVER good enough. Not even me moving to new york. I just wish she would tell me she was proud of me sometimes. I call her while I'm here and all I hear is her nitpicking at me, still telling me I could be better. I even told her, mom can you tell me you're proud of me once in awhile? Do I do anything right ? Then she sarcastically says OH you know i'm SO proud of you, now if you could just do this this this. Way to help. I know my mother loves me and just wants the best for me, but having her drilling at me all of my life has really taken a toll on my mind, on myself, on my relationships with other people. I know I have to rise above that and be my own person, but it's just hard when I don't have that support in my life.  Absolutely no kind of emotional parental support. My dad isn't in my life, my mom is from another country also and just doesn't understand the importance. It's so hard. . .

I went out to eat with some friends tonight and to a bar afterwards, and we had long talks about life and relationships, our parents. A little visit to the darkroom turned into deep conversations in the corner of a booth. We talked about our significant others, astrological signs. . I've really found meaning in them. The distance in my own relationship is starting to really get to me. I know I'm going to see him in four days, and it will all be right while I'm there, but then I'm going to come back here. That distance, my mind, I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough to handle it. Our relationship is amazing and I've found everything I've ever wanted in him. But I know he needs attention, and I feel like he will find it elsewhere if I don't give him all that he wants. Which is alot, which I'm not used to. I don't really feel like he'll cheat on me, but just find female attention elsewhere. He's very friendly, and I'm sure willing to give his number and contacts to any girl who would ask, or even he would ask a girl just wanting to be friends or what not. I don't know what I'm thinking. Kind of makes me uncomfortable. Very unsettling. The distance. How could he be getting the attention he wants from his girlfriend 3894247 miles away? Certain times, I don't know if it's my mother's nagging coming into my mind or what, I don't think I'm what he wants. He's told me many times that I am, but it's just that gut feeling that gets in the way sometimes. And my wild imagination I guess. Is my imagination wild, or is my gut trying to tell me something? Is he filling a gap in his life with me, or am I what he really wants? Has he just been lonely for so long and I'm making him feel good for now, until he realizes I'm not it? What if I move all the way to austin? Should I even move? Am I stupid for even thinking about moving when I'm feeling like this? Am I running away? What am I thinking? I really don't know.

I'm feeling so withdrawn right now...
I just want to curl up and sleep

Maybe it was the 123899 pounds of pizza I ate that made me feel like below. Pizza is another thing that is so hard to avoid in this city. It is seriously EVERYWHERE.. more than starbucks even. Cray. So today I had the worst day ever and I would like to use this here blog to bitch about it. What it's here for, right ?

I wake up to my kitty howling. I made the mistake of feeding the stray cats a couple times and now they come by all the time and smokey HOWLS his brains out. And wakes me up .. at the same time every morning. It's driving me

crazy. So that woke me super early, totally sucked because I had a horrible sleep. Bad dreams and a small bladder=no sleep. I got out of bed, it was freezing. I fed smokey and he shut up and came and cuddled with me. Then I awoke again to my boyfriend calling me.. I had asked him to wake me up. I turn over and I have a text also, but not from him. From my roomate. Asking me if I can take smokey to texas with me because she pretty much doesn't feel like coming home while I'm gone... she's been at her boyfriend's every night. That really upset me. I would totally do her that favor, especially if she cares as much for her pet as I do for mine. I mean, how hard would it be to come home for one fucking week, or to get your boyfriend to come stay at your place for once? A good friend would do that. A good friend, that something that's hard to find these days, isn't it ? For me anyways. So I text her back, I basically say.. : You know I've had a bad experience flying with my last kitty, it's so last minute (I'm leaving sunday morning) .. I really didn't think it would be so hard for you to come home to help me out for one week, but if it is I guess I will have to figure something else out. I can't take him, so I guess I'll have to ask the neighbor, which SUCKS.. because smokey isn't familiar with him and he would just come in, feed smokes and leave.: She texted me back saying there was no need for my attitude and she would do it since she said she gave me her word. She gave me her word, so why would she even do that to me ? Freak me out like that. Really rude, I think. So if that wasn't the start to a GLORIOUS day.. I take the trash out and get punched in the face by a hard , freezing cold, icy BLAST. It is absolutely freezing outside.. and I have all of these things I need to take care of. I planned to do so much today. So I bundle up and decide to go out and do all that I need to. First I get on the train, I can't find my ticket anywhere for my glasses that I had brought in to get the lens changed. Frantically going through my purse, freaking out.. Finally I found it in a wad of cash. Phew. I get off the train and go to the post office to pick up a box .. I stand in line for 10 minutes. Getting my stuff together I realize... I forgot my drivers license!! Fuck.. and the brooklyn post office is not your normal friendly post office. No ID, nothing for you. I wouldn't be surprised if they told me to fuck off and come back tomorrow. So I just left there.. and walked to pick up my glasses.  I get there and they tell me they're not done. And she's talking about me right in front of me. Saying "oh, she's too early, I saw her come in yesterday, she can come back later" with an attitude. So I look straight at the girl and say " Look, you told me to come back today, and they should be done by 1.. it's almost 2 ?? So what is the deal, when are they gonna be done ??" She tells me 3. Wow, I was so early. I go to the drugstore to find my new favorite candy, this stuff called Aero, it's amazing.. go try it. Went to 2, neither had it. It's new so my expectations weren't that high. I just bought some andes thin mints. Those always make me happy. I get on the train, frustrated and accomplishing nothing. Ready to go home and come right back.. and then all of a sudden.. my mp3 battery dies. This is always devastating for me because I listen to music 24/7 when I walk around anywhere. Especially in my neighborhood to drown out the obnoxious cat calling & ignorant little brats. Ugh. I trudge home, getting tossed around by the arctic wind. I get in.. and my internet isn't working. Granted , it is stolen .. haha.. but that was just the icing on the cake. Turned my computer off,  put my pajamas on and curled up in my bed, I was so cold and didn't feel like dealing with anymore today. I passed out to the noise of people arguing on judge judy and faded into a crazy dream. I was by the beach... With 2 guys, no idea who they were. One opened the trunk of their car and there were like a thousand new bmw's. The police came by and we had to hide and when they left I asked if I could have one to drive to the beach. He pulled one out and it turned into a full size one and I drove off.. and then I woke up to judge judy granting someone $3500 to get his bmw fixed. Weird. Went to the grocery store to get some stuff to make fajitas, luckily it wasn't as cold and nothing went wrong this time around. Feeling a little better.

Who else is excited about the new pussycat dolls reality show tryouts !?!?! YES! dontcha!
Anyways I rediscovered a musician I discovered a year ago and have been listening non stop.
Gregory and The Hawk.. straight outta brooklyn, enjoy. Oh and here's my myspace page, yay !

I've never had a problem with myself. Yeah just typical complaints about my hips/butt , whatev, basic girly crap. But it never really got to me to a point where I would think about it all the time. Then I moved to new york city. Everywhere I go these people are rail thin, the GUYS are wearing jeans I couldn't fit into even when I was 10. It's so stupid to be dwelling on my weight I know. I just want to fit into styles I love and look GOOD and feel comfortable in them. Like I can squeeze into things here and there but I'm never really comfortable in them. I just have to learn to deal with my body type and be happy I guess, but it's just so hard to be in a city full of such stylish people.. walking past people wearing things that I'll never be able to wear thanks to my body type/shape. It is so frustrating. I want to join a gym again and start working out, but here in the city without a car, just the thought of going to a gym and then having to get on the subway and walking home seems way too annoying to deal with. I mean, you figure walking miles a day will drop something, right ? I actually feel like my butt is getting bigger, haha. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and my metabolism just isn't the same. I don't eat that bad, but I could definately eat better. Is it sad that I want to lose weight for fashion? Oh well. Ugh, hating my body with a passion right now.

:/

What was your favorite game to play at recess in grade school? 

duhhhhh, POPCORN!!!!!!

Popcorn